Questions & Replies about Divorce and Remarriage by David Instone-Brewer
Read the book    Buy a copy	I read and reply to all emails though sometimes the reply is very brief, due to pressure of time. I like to get questions - especially if they are new. Many people ask questions which are already covered in these Questionas & Replies. Please take a moment to look at previous emails before you write. Pastoral support doesn't really work by email, so if you need this, I'd encourage you to find a local fellow Christian or minister. Their personal views on this subject don't matter too much if they are good at listening, both to you and to God. David Instone-Brewer	Read portions    Buy a copy

Emailed question/comment:
	You point out that in the Greaco-Roman world of the early church there was no concept of the modern day notion to seperate from you partner for a time and then to eventually get divorced. Biblically speaking, when should a person be considered to be divorced - once a person permanently moves out, or once it is declared annulled in a court of law? And also, it seems from your writings that you are not in favor of long seperations. What is the reason for this?
Reply:
	The Bible doesn't tell us when a person should be considered to be divorced, but lets try to work it out from biblical principles. It is the wronged partner who has the right to decide that the marriage contract has been broken and they won't continue to forgive. So the marriage comes to an end when the wronged partner decides that it has ended. When Paul wrote 1Cor.7.11 about the woman who had separated from her husband (thereby divorcing him) he told her not to remarry and to try for reconciliation. Why wasn't she allowed to remarry? - because she had divorced someone against their will. The divorce would not be valid till her former partner decided that it was over, and so she was stuck, unable to remarry, till he did so. I didn't realise I said anything about long separations, but you are right that I am against them. Mainly because Paul tells that woman in 1Cor.7.10f in as strong language as possible, that she should not have separated (v.10). She had already disobeyed this, so he tells her in v.11 to try to reverse what she has done by remaining unmarried and attempting reconciliation. Paul also says that couples should not even separate for the seemingly good excuse that they want to spend more time in prayer - except perhaps for short periods. Does a trial separation help to heal marriages? I suspect that they help to break them much more often than they help to heal.
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