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Questions & Replies about
Divorce and Remarriage
by David
Instone-Brewer
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I read
and reply to all emails though sometimes the reply is very
brief, due to pressure of time. I like to get questions -
especially if they are new. Many people ask questions which are
already covered in these Questionas & Replies. Please take a
moment to look at previous emails before you write.
Pastoral
support doesn't really work by email, so if you need this, I'd
encourage you to find a local fellow Christian or minister.
Their personal views on this subject don't matter too much if they
are good at listening, both to you and to God.
David Instone-Brewer |
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Emailed question/comment: |
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You recommend a Service of Repentance for formerly married
persons who wish to marry again. This seems reasonable but not by
itself. While you point out that a church or pastor finds it
difficult to thoroughly research the details of prior relationships
and marriages/divorces, some of our church leaders believe that more
concrete evidence of good-faith efforts (to reconcile, put things
right, seek foregiveness) is appropriate and/or necessary. Can you
comment? |
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Reply: |
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By the time it gets to a remarriage, any realistic opportunity
for reconciliation etc is usually over. If that person was in our
pastoral care when the first marriage broke up, we will know if
there were efforts at reconciliation, and we should have been making
sure that there were. If it gets to the point of remarriage and we
aren't sure, then we as pastors, are partly to blame. I don't see
the point of post-mortems, and I would be very hesitant to refuse to
marry a couple simply because I wasn't convinced about how the
previous marriage ended. There is one exception - as I say in the
book - that I would be very reluctant to marry someone to the person
with whom they committed adultery and thereby broke up the previous
marriage. |
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